i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
