is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
