She said her name was "party"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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