i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
