He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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