id be glad to
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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