11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
