Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
