I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
