you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
