Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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