my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
where are my eyebrows?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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