you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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