we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
