nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Success! We fucked roommates!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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