PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
