He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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