If that was your dad, he is hot
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
