too bad you live with your parents still
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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