Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
