He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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