soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
