it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
