still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
