When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
