Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
