I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The adults are the big ones right?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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