whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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