Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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