Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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