I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
