I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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