is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
