Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
