That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
