Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's never too late to be topless.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
How does one acquire holy water?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
