Your tits are I can't wait for
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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