thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
