hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Couch. On fire.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
