Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
