i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Pappa wants mamma naked
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
