The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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