Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
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