The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
