THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
