And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
