I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
We have so much sex to catch up on
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
