can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
