New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
