I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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