I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
